Obituaries

Vincent Mielnicki
B: 1958-10-28
D: 2021-06-13
View Details
Mielnicki, Vincent
Lela Louis
B: 1952-07-27
D: 2021-06-09
View Details
Louis, Lela
Barbara Surles
D: 2021-06-06
View Details
Surles, Barbara
Edward Williams
B: 1965-05-11
D: 2021-06-01
View Details
Williams, Edward
Gussie Burton
B: 1937-09-08
D: 2021-05-31
View Details
Burton, Gussie
Inez Smith
B: 1940-10-10
D: 2021-05-30
View Details
Smith, Inez
Barbara Neukirk
B: 1957-07-22
D: 2021-05-29
View Details
Neukirk, Barbara
Tyreece Johnson
B: 2002-10-26
D: 2021-05-25
View Details
Johnson, Tyreece
Mother Frances Roman
B: 1918-08-10
D: 2021-05-21
View Details
Roman, Mother Frances
Christopher Brock
B: 1998-11-22
D: 2021-05-20
View Details
Brock, Christopher
Senetha Battle
B: 1958-11-21
D: 2021-05-16
View Details
Battle, Senetha
Phennie Edwards
B: 1941-08-23
D: 2021-05-13
View Details
Edwards, Phennie
Angelica Green
B: 1979-05-28
D: 2021-05-13
View Details
Green, Angelica
Leonard Pinckney
B: 1955-10-23
D: 2021-05-12
View Details
Pinckney, Leonard
Johnnie Thomas
B: 1962-08-29
D: 2021-05-11
View Details
Thomas, Johnnie
Darwin Perry
B: 1969-09-13
D: 2021-05-10
View Details
Perry, Darwin
Milton Harris
B: 1937-11-30
D: 2021-05-10
View Details
Harris, Milton
John Thomas
B: 1928-01-24
D: 2021-05-09
View Details
Thomas, John
Willie Brown
B: 1950-12-18
D: 2021-05-08
View Details
Brown, Willie
Deacon Climet Waller
B: 1945-11-22
D: 2021-05-07
View Details
Waller, Deacon Climet
Curtis Brown
B: 1956-02-13
D: 2021-05-02
View Details
Brown, Curtis

Search

Use the form above to find your loved one. You can search using the name of your loved one, or any family name for current or past services entrusted to our firm.

Click here to view all obituaries
Search Obituaries
109 West Avenue
Rochester, NY 14611
Phone: (585) 436-7730
Fax: (585) 436-6778

Obituaries & Tributes

It is not always possible to pay respects in person, so we hope that this small token will help.

Immediate Need

If you have immediate need of our services, we're available for you 24 hours a day.

Our Services

Learn more about our funeral home and chapel services to help make planning decisions.

Order Flowers

Offer a gift of comfort and beauty to a family suffering from loss.

Etiquette For a Funeral

The social graces we follow in certain situations are also known as standards of etiquette.These standards ensure that we are behaving in an acceptable way around others. Every social situation or gathering has some of its own unwritten guidelines, but most standards of etiquette are focused on courtesy, empathy, and self-awareness.

Etiquette for a funeral - Buttoning up suit

So, What is The Proper Etiquette for a Funeral?

Funeral etiquette is very important, as funerals are usually the most solemn gatherings one will ever experience in a lifetime. End-of-life services are intended to honor the life of an individual who has passed in a dignified manner. Funeral attendees must understand the significance of the ceremonies and must respect the family of the deceased. Doing this requires the attendees to hold themselves accountable and do everything in their power not to draw attention away from the ceremonies. 

The Basics of Proper Funeral Etiquette

Emily Post once said, "Manners are a sensitive awareness of the feelings of others." Much of what we know today about etiquette comes from this woman, who published her first book of etiquette in 1922. When you use those words as your guide, the rules of funeral etiquette become easier to understand.

What to Wear to a Funeral

Tradition has always required a certain level of formality in dressing for a funeral. However, today's end-of-life services are so varied – ranging from the traditional funeral to the often more relaxed celebration-of-life – that it's challenging to know exactly what's expected of you.

The advisors on the Emily Post website tell readers that "attire isn't limited to just black or dark gray. Remember, though, that it is a serious occasion and your attire should reflect that, especially if you are participating in the service. At the very least it should be clean, neat, and pressed as for any other important occasion."

What to Say

No one expects you to say more than a few words and bereaved family members are often unable to give you their full attention anyway. So, keep it short and make it sincere.

"I'm so very sorry for your loss" may work very well. If you have time to add to those seven words, you might want to share a personal story about a time you shared with the deceased. But, watch closely for signs that your audience needs to move on to receive condolences from other funeral guests.

When speaking to other funeral guests, speak quietly. This is not a time to discuss business or share stories about your recent vacation. Instead, focus on sharing and listening to stories of times spent with the deceased.

What to Do

If you're unsure about what actions to take when being led by a pastor or celebrant, simply follow along. If you're not comfortable, don't draw attention to your unwillingness to participate. Be discrete and respectful of others.

Always leave your cell phone in the car or at the very least, turn it to vibrate mode or turn it off.

How to Handle the Visitation

A visitation, or viewing, is a time prior to the funeral where guests are invited to view the casketed body of the deceased. While it is customary to show your respects to the deceased by stepping up to the casket, you may not feel comfortable doing so. That's perfectly alright; no one wants you to be unnerved by the experience, so focus your attention instead on providing comfort to the bereaved family.

After the Funeral

If the deceased is to be buried following the service, the funeral officiant will announce the location of the interment. If the cemetery is not located on the grounds of the funeral home, there will be a processional of cars formed to escort the hearse to the cemetery. Unless they have chosen to have a private burial, those in attendance are welcome to join in the procession however, don't feel obligated to do so. You may simply leave the funeral at that time.

The Funeral Reception

Many families today hold a post-funeral gathering where food and refreshments are served. While this is a time to share memories, laughter, and even tears, your behavior at a funeral reception needs to remain respectful. 

Follow-up with Kindness

If you've not already done so, this is a good time to send the family a sympathy note or card. About a week after the funeral, pick up the phone to check in with them to see if there's anything they need.

"Good manners," wrote Emily Post, "reflect something from inside – an innate sense of consideration for others and respect for self." We think that just about sums it up; no matter the situation – wedding, baptism, dinner party or cocktails with friends – her observations about good manners (when followed) will serve us all well.

Sources:
www.emilypost.com